can i just have one more moondance wih you. `my love.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

and so it is. yes, i do miss writing in this cobweb-infested site. i thought i would stray forever. but it beckons. and i am back.

but its weird. before i come here, i seem to have alot of things to say. then i log in and all words elude me. i knew it was strange. its just reaffirming now.

i started reading the book on Esther by Charles R. Swindoll. (A Woman of Strength and Dignity) this, of course, was after aunty ivy started speaking to the C3s on the book of Esther and the character of Queen Esther herself.

true, my name is Esther too. but then i totally pale in comparison to the Queen herself. i am certainly not anywhere near her grace and faith. but definitely, i aspire to be like that. After all, i was named Esther for a reason right? and i'm sure God will be happy to see me fulfil that. and so it goes, my destination function. the very end point of my life. when i am ready to meet my Maker and enjoy eternity with Him, i wish to be a woman of strength and dignity. i want to be like Queen Esther and have that same amount of faith and courage - a woman of grace-filled charm and elegance; a woman of unusual restraint and control; a woman of continually teachable spirit.

do i dare to trust, ask and obey? yes sometimes i ask but i dont wait for the answers and sometimes i hear it, but do i heed it? and when do i know i am or not? where do i draw the line?

-

i want to return to yanling. like immediately. i want to talk to them again. i miss them so much. each time i think about it i feel quite sad and there is this kind of surge within me that needs to be satisfied. and i know it can only be satisfied when i've returned.

-

in just a few more days, the dam within me will break. its that day which struck me deep down inside. that day, one year ago. 27 sept, girl, 27 sept. in just 5 times 24 hours. that is so soon. i cant be in denial anymore.

Godrocksmysocks (: - 21.9.05