can i just have one more moondance wih you. `my love.

Monday, November 29, 2004

i have finally ended my end. end of my super many million years of education. end of my A levels. end of the horror. mmm hyperbole, i see. for the effect, my baby, for the effect.

now i have a great long time to slack, play and work then earn money so i can save up to buy the much-awaited ipodmini. maybe by the time i do get enough moolah to buy it, something new will come up. something pretty and gorgeous and attractive, and my eyes will go poppppp and my wallet will be emptied. then again, from experience i just have this certain premonition that something like that wont possibly happen.. not the saving up; i will save up. but its the actual buying of the product. it happened before with the creative mp3. and it may again with this ipodmini. roarr..

i had a hair cut! and i became so depressed because of it. the lady who cut my hair was so ridiculous. she got so annoyed because she wanted to go home early so she took it all out on my poor innocent hair. thanks alot, woman. for the wonderful mess you have created atop my head. ok actually its not that bad after a while. i suppose it just takes some time to get used to. i couldnt stand it when i first cut and found it so tough to style it or tie it up.. but now im kinda having fun. different ways of styling and giving myself that ah-im-so-pro-with-dealing-with-tragic-hair kind of poseur air. hahahahahha pooof that dream goes pooooof.

mmm fell ill yesterday. first time in such a long time i have fallen seriously ill. more serious than the flu bug type of attacks. i had food poisoning. from i have no idea what food also. because others ate the food i ate too and they are perfectly fine. maybe its just bacteria or viruses or something like that. whatever it is, it made me feel utterly uncomfortable and helpless. last night was by far one of the worst nights in a long time to come. my whole body was aching while i felt feverish and cold. plus my head became so heavy. i just felt so frustrated at all the pain i couldnt help but cry. my sister was so sweet; she came in last night because she heard my snifflings. then she comforted me and offered me long pants to keep my legs warm. i love my sister so so so much.

Godrocksmysocks (: - 29.11.04

Sunday, November 21, 2004

chin studies in sp. he told me that he heard it was an accident. and besides, who ever said i hated lorr? when ever did i imply that? i dont blame her at all for going like that. i miss her. is that so hard?

philip, my exact sentiments.

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mmm i cannot wait for wednesday! grr.
i want to:
- watch bride and prejudice
- watch taxi
- rent dirty dancing one and two
- go blading!
- compile christmas cds
- start packing and preparing for YEP! haha.
- go earring shopping
- go to ikea!
and do everything else ever imagined.

the Lord is my shepherd i shall not want!
God is supersuper! hahaha i love Him with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind and all my might, with every cell, every artery, every nerve, every DNA! whoohoooo!! He's been so good to me, we being so underserving. and now because of His love, we are made worthy in His eyes. that is so awesome. over again and again, His magnificence just leaves me overwhelmed and in absolute awe. its a kind of feeling i just cant put down in words, because its simply unbelievable. its great. i cant wait for that day when i finally get to meet Him. that would be totally amazing. one second with Him can beat a million milleniums on earth, hands down!

for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future.

this promise is just so sweet, it leaves me crying yet smiling.

ahh yes. i think ive developed a new liking.
hahah for this colour and this colour.
so intriguing. exquisite and sophisticated.

i wanna go for the course that darren just graduated from! ahhhhh. the tung ling place thing. school of ministry. next year, march april and may. mmm but it clashes with my plans to go for the one-month mission trip to china with my sister in around april and may. may God lead me to where He wants me to go! actually being torn between these two decisions makes me happy. because both of them are for God alone! haha that rocks. i dont mind going for either one. although i think i wanna go for the school of ministry one more. because the next opportunity is in september october november and i will be having exams then if i go university. and then again, missions is also something i really wanna go for. the end times are so so so near! mmm. dilemma. but healthy dilemma. haha at least it isnt something like, should i go clubbing or should i go to church. that kind of nonsense.

oh yea. brings me to another point. now im really not sure if i wanna go to uni. i wanna go nus to study theatre. yet again, maybe not. joanne brought up the possibility of going to nafa! i wanna go there!!!! oh man. you get to study drama dance fine arts.. everything that i love, much more than studying production possibility curves and newton-raphson methods. jo wants to go there next year. should i? but i just spent two years in jc. if i go there it could be that my jc years would have been a total waste. the school fees, the energy and time. ok, i could still have a backup because of an A level cert. then maybe i can still go nafa to get a diploma that kind of stuff. haii how confusing. i wish studying wasnt so tedious in singapore. then again, ranting about this would be another bout of waste of time. uh-huh.

mmm yesterday we went for my cousins wedding! the bride was so prettyyyyy! ahaha ok lah, my cousin looked really dashing in his suit too. haha but the bride was so prettyyyy!! heh. the wedding dinner is tomorrow night. i cannot wait lah! my sister, jo and i get to be ushers and sit at the reception etc. so cool. i heard my cousin invited super many people! like, a thousand? hahaha though its unfounded claims. i dont know. but cant be lah, probably less than that. mmm i still have dilemma with what to wear! bah. thought i could wear this halter dress that i bought, but its not formal enough. bahbahbah.. oh well. interestingly, his wedding is held at the same place as my prom, which is on 1dec. mmm haha im more excited about his wedding than the prom. dontcare lah.

Godrocksmysocks (: - 21.11.04

Thursday, November 11, 2004

hello world. ive gotten over it. esther is back!
haii. oh well.

i shouldnt even be here now. but i wanted to clarify some stuff. and also to show that im not mulling. and that the Lord has granted me strength! haha well im in the midst of my As too. and ive been slacking far too much. bah. this is bad. i cant remember how hard i studied for my Os and i didnt do as expected. so i have no idea how im gonna do for As! i want to achieve that kind of feeling where right after the paper i can walk out and think, its a good job done. but how to.. other than having to studystudystudy. grrr. right now i just need alot of grace from the Lord Jesus Christ. i admit i alone cannot. mmm just fell a little ill too. sore throat, running nose. and super tired. and that sucks man. oh well.

tonight there is singapore idol! i want to see daphne sing her way out! whoohoo!

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alrights. to adam, and those who want to know about lorr, this is it.
i am not exactly sure of what happened myself. i only know that she was sitting on the railing of a building in singapore polytechnic, forth floor. that was at about 9plus 10 in the morning. she apparently fell, and died at about 2pm. really, that is all i know. i myself have no idea whether it was an accident or suicide. some told me it was an accident; said that she was joking and laughing with her friends when she sort of lost balance. then again, i really have no idea.

lorraine is 20 this year, her birthday is on 26nov. she is a malaysian and lives in johor. she came to singapore to study last year. she came to cjc.

adam, will this help? i hope it does. if anything more, feel free to ask to confirm. i know it isnt nice to find out about the death of a person like that. im sorry.

Godrocksmysocks (: - 11.11.04