Sunday, March 28, 2004
to you with love, anon
have you thought about how people hide
behind facades
behind false names
behind false smiles
behind false words
just to be someone they are not.
just to comment on and criticise others without being found out
without having to face the consequences
haha seriously,
if you are able to come and criticise on what i say,
i dont think i ought to be sad and stand at a corner and weep
i should rejoice,
because that only means you came and read what i have to say!
and isnt that what public blogs are about?
writing what you want and hoping someone out there is bothered enough to read?
oh well.
like it is always said,
we cant please everyone.
haha.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 28.3.04
being ill sucks.
:(
Godrocksmysocks (: - 28.3.04
Sunday, March 21, 2004
let me continue
the night-out
my second life-transforming experience in tioman, after the snorkelling.
it was marvellous, miraculous, magnificent.
who compares to You
who sets the stars in their place
the astro club set out the telescope and ground sheets at some remote area behind behind..
and we have to walk down this lane to reach there.
then it was really dark (it was night, duh)
plus the beeeeg bushes and trees around.
scary.
sumi and i walked down the lane.
then instinctively, i just looked up at the sky
WHOA!
it was ever so beautiful!
i cant even describe it to you.
it was as if God had a pocket-full of silver glitter and He just stretched out His hands and threw the glitter into the night sky.
as the glitter bits scattered from His hands, they filled the whole sky with light.
some dimmer, some brighter.
but still, it was beautiful.
thinking about it now makes me want to cry.
its just so marvellous.
i am just really touched by Gods kindness to us.
that He created such wonderful things for us to appreciate and enjoy.
its something you will never ever get to experience in singapore skies because it is far too cloudy.
i learnt to recognise constellations..
orion, big dipper, gemini
i saw plants through the telescope as well
saturn, jupiter, venus
plus star clusters. M41 and M44
and the orion nebula
the winter triangle.
and the double star in the big dipper
the double star was really nice.
from far when we look, it seems like theres only one star
but in actual fact, there are two there.
and i learnt about the variable stars - stars that rotate and revolve around themselves.
and i learnt how to navigate my directions by looking at the stars!
joseph and jeremy were good teachers
sianghong also lah.
hahah adrian sucked at teaching!
sumi and i later went back to the room to get a towel and pillow for better comfort.
we were the last few to go back, other than the astro people who had to pack up
sumi and i just layed down there on the ground sheet and stared silently at the skies.
it couldnt have been more beautiful.
another picture perfect moment.
haii the experience was really once in a lifetime
i really want to go back there.
if only if only if only.
now i will leave day three to another day to write about.
right now, gp beckons me into its embrace.
-
i want to cry.
haii
Godrocksmysocks (: - 21.3.04
Saturday, March 20, 2004
stars
stars are Gods creativity magnified.
i love stars, have i told you that before?
and esther means star, by the way :)
tioman was simply great.
everything about it.
sure there were times when we complained and grumbled and hated some stuff that happened.
but i was thinking, if some stuff didnt happen, the whole trip would not have been the same at all.
so yea.
oh dear i want to tell you all everything that happened!
but i dont even know where to start!
ok. carry on reading if you bother reading.
dayONE
coached down to mersing from the customs.
long long ride.
it was on the bus then i felt the full impact of the fun - being on a trip with school people.
as in, travelling was usually with my family.
so yea.
reached mersing for lunch, though i didnt dare to eat.
because i know that i would get motion sickness on the ferry later on.
there was a playground there and there were swings!
ahhh the joys of swinging on a swing.
absolute bliss.
haha reliving our childhood!
the ferry only arrived at 4pm. what a long wait. -grrr.
i was one of the last few to board the ferry
and so i could not get a seat.
in the end i had to sit on plastic chairs in the aisle.
like what the..
i paid, and i get lesser comfort than others who paid the same price.
somemore, i sat right at the end of the ferry, right next to the toilet.
there wasnt any smell, but anyone who needed to piss had to walk past me.
and while having motion sickness and wanting to sleep it all away
but having to make way all the time for uncontrollable bladders,
it was terrible.
worse than terrible.
we only reached pulau tioman at 7pm.
ughh i really felt like puking and fainting.
but i thank God i didnt - i would have felt worse.
then we discovered the place we were going to stay in.
there were no hotels, no motels.
just chalet-like stuff.
kampong houses on stilts and all.
just a room with two beds, a dressing table and a toilet.
and it was shared by three people.
i shared with suzanne and nat.
the amazing thing was that there was air-conditioning!
wow!
yea the organising people (the astro club) negotiated for us to have aircon
so nice. awww..
then we realised that all meals were to be provided by wenyous mum.
(wenyou is from astro)
and wenyous family is vegetarian.
so all meals cooked by wenyous mum was vegetarian.
hmmm...
at night we had our first introductory lecture on astronomy.
quite interesting.
then another briefing by mr tan (teacher in charge of astro)
and then goodnight.
we couldnt have any night-out (night observation aka practical session on astronomy). because it was far too cloudy and we couldnt see anything..
we saw venus though!
it was very bright and nice.
we went back to our rooms after that, washed up,
then suz nat and i had the time of our lives.
hahaha no we didnt do anything whatever
we just talked.
but the things we talked about was reallyreallyreally interesting!
antropology, sociology.
ok that was just euphemism for a more crude subject title, if you get what i mean..
hahahah but it was so fun.
and we ended up sleeping really late.
dayTWO
woke up early, washed up
and prepared to go trekking.
11km.
like, whoa. for someone as unfit as me.
we walked to marine park, which was two jetties away.
it was really far.
but it was so nice there!
the water was so clear, we could see through to the bottom.
and the amount of fishes there was amazing.
the fishes were swiming to and fro, and appeared so carefree.
of course they were.
with a memory of only 3 seconds, what kind of cares and woes would they have?
we spotted a paddle-pop looking fish which kinda excited us to no ends.
exquisite beauty, that is.
then the astro people told us that we had
no more trekking!
no more bashing through jungles!
no more walking up mountains!
no more no more no more!
yayyyyyyyy!!!
instead we would spend the full two days ahead of us on snorkelling only!
hahahahahahaha God is good!
then like this, we get to relax, and my knee wouldnt have to suffer much!
whoo-hoo!
anyway, finally at 1030am we boarded speed boats and went to coral island.
WHOA!
the extent of beauty here was magnificent, immense, and infinite.
the sand was like baby powder!
we were there for snorkelling.
at first i was super hesitant to go into the water.
i just wanted to laze around on the beach and suntan.
or play beach volleyball.
because i was reluctant to get wet, knowing i will get cranky and grumpy etc.
but in the end, i went into the water
heck dirtiness.
and i enjoyed myself.
the water was really shallow and it was very clear as well.
i could see the corals.
then i borrowed brians snorkelling mask
and when i looked down under the surface of the sea,
WHOA!
it was life-transforming!
i realised there were fishes there among the corals!
i cannot describe what i saw there, because there are just no words to describe the beauty.
it was picture-perfect, if i could put it that way.
after that, we went to another place in the vast sea..
it was just beside some huge rocks
there was just a speedboat anchored there.
and we just tied our speedboats to that other boat
and then went into the water to marvel at the underwater life again.
this time it was quite scary.
because it was 3-4metres deep
and so we couldnt touch the ground.
of course we wore lifejackets.
but when i looked down, i got quite a scare because of the darkness of the depths.
and the ominous-looking plant life below there.
but the fishes took my breath away again.
we fed them with bread as well!
oh and i experienced a little phobia as well
it was part of my recurring nightmare as a child.
i dreamt that i was on a white ship which was rather narrow,
then the middle of the boat suddenly had a hole and i fell through
then i was under the sea and i could only see the bottom of the white ship against a darkish bluish sea.
and the darkish bluish sea was not a very comforting sight.
it looked ominous and scary.
yea so when i looked under the water surface through the mask,
and saw the bottom of the speedboat against the sea
i felt fearful.
so that was just a little piece of my childhood nightmare for you.
anyway, after that we headed to another island for lunch.
flies flies flies everywhere!
oh yea. i finally got to eat my fuji apple!
i eat apples like, everyday.
so i was so glad when i found a minimart that sold apples on that island.
then we headed to monkey bay and ringis island.
at monkey bay (no we didnt see any monkeys) we snorkelled again.
and this time i found a new way of feeding the fishes!
i put my head in down under the surface of the water, just like how it is when we snorkel.
then i hold some bread in my hand and put it in front of me, beneath the water surface.
the fishes came to bite the bread from my hand and they were right in front of me!
some even brushed against my hands.
it got quite scary after a while because the fishes came in hordes.
so i threw some bread far away from me to distract them.
hahaha scaredy-cat me.
at ringis island (i have no idea how to spell that)
the current was far too strong.
so the minute we jumped into the water, we were swept away so far.
in the end the teachers made us come back onto the speedboats.
it was far too dangerous.
then we went back to the chalets to wash up and etc etc etc.
had dinner, then a lecture on astronomy again..
and finally, our night out!
it was a whole new world, literally.
but i think i will have to leave this to another day to marvel about.
plus the next two days.
haha updates will come soon after, when i find the time to again.
for now, thats about it.
im too tired to get excited and gush about it now.
till then, God is good!
Godrocksmysocks (: - 20.3.04
Sunday, March 14, 2004
i miss my brother, suddenly.
hahah hes in malaysia now with my aunty and cousins etc.
but its so weird without him around at home
cannot fight with him.
cannot laugh with him.
hmm oh well.
thats weird.
anyway.
life has been quite normal.
praise God!
i got B for maths!
oh man oh man oh man.
just short of 2 marks to get an A.
haha but thats not important anymore.
the main thing is that i was so sure i will do so badly for this paper
but God is good He blessed me.
yupp i love You!
im going to tioman on tuesday!
coming back on friday.
i pray to God that i wont fall ill,
and i wont be food for the flies
and i wont injure my knee any further.
that i will go for the 11km hike up and down mountains
willingly
and come out alive.
i pray that i will be able to pack my bag in time.
hahahah
-
hmm could people stop judging me?
:( how sadd.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 14.3.04
Thursday, March 11, 2004
this sucks
Godrocksmysocks (: - 11.3.04
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
what a coincidence.
my dad went for a check-up for his hand.
its been hurting for quite some time.
he got referred to changi general hospital,
same as me (for my knee check-up).
and guess what.
he got mr bogus-doctor as well.
mr i-am-so-bogus-i-have-no-time-to-look-in-the-mirror-to-realise-i-have-such-long-nose-hair-sticking-out-of-my-right-nostril.
yes.
mr bogus-doctor did have nose hair sticking out of his nostril.
like, hello.
you are a doctor.
you ought to know about hygiene
and basic social skills
and that fundamental personal appearances do matter
especially when the person sitting before you in your nice spacious office
is the potential victim you will suck money from.
and one thing i dont understand is that,
i initally called to postpone my appointment
because i had a drama rehearsal.
but the lady who answered the call said that all time slots were fully booked
and the next time slot available was two weeks later
and it would have been too late for me.
so of course i assumed the poor doctor to be slogging away so hard at work
racing to keep up with the demands of a busy schedule.
but no.
when i went there, mr bogus-doctor was
so free.
he sent me to take an xray
and as i was walking out of the office,
mr bogus-doctor was
walking sashaying, strolling out of the office as well
and probably only returned to the office when i went back with my xray test results.
if mr bogus-doctor really was
THAT busy,
why would he have had the time to stroll out of the office?
and for what?
to go take a breather?
to smell the flowers and enjoy the breeze?
please, give me a break.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 9.3.04
Sunday, March 07, 2004
bogus doctors should be re-labelled
they should be called cheaters
because they diagnose you bogus rubbish
then expect you to pay sky-nomous prices
bogus doctors should look at themselves in the mirror of truth
and of dignity, of integrity and of self-respect
and examine for themselves how wrong they have been
ever since
cheating became a norm in their list of vocab words
bogus doctors should quit their jobs
so they wont distrupt the lives of injured people
and people in serious need of good and useful consultations and treatments
and they can then create more job opportunities
for unemployed but truthful and upright people
who really need the jobs and the money to back up their families and mouths to feed at home.
bogus doctors should stop disturbing the natural flow of money supply in the world and allow transactions to be of worth
and fulfil the internal value of money, aka, the purchasing power of money
so that calculation of national income will be more accurate
and data collected can better reflect the standard of living in the country
furthermore, if bogus doctors were to actually diagnose patients wrongly,
of course this will affect the standards of living of people in the country
because the health system in the country is undermined
and peoples healths are being compromised.
so there.
bogus doctors should go away.
and leave all of us in peace and harmony.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 7.3.04
Saturday, March 06, 2004
i love my parents
really.
am i the rebellious sort?
err maybe the lying to them about going out
and coming home late.
but then again,
lying to them is kind of a past affair
and i dont really come home late often.
so yea.
the point is,
my parents are great.
and im absolutely serious.
the 2003 sec4s just got their Os results back.
and now so many are in the dilemma of where to go.
and many are restricted from going to the jc of their choice,
because their parents have kinda decided for them
and forbid them to go to the jc they like.
but my parents were different.
they allowed me to make the ultimate choice.
you see, i got 12 in O levels.
points around here are always considered good but not good enough.
so of course i wasnt good enough to go to vjc.
the number one choice jc of my life
because i really wanted to take theatre studies and drama.
(its only offered at vjc)
its near my house and two of my good friends went there!
furthermore, my sister graduated from there with A A B.
and of course i was kinda expected to go there and probably get A A B as well.
but a 12 was just not good enough.
so i got posted to sajc.
sajc arts.
im sorry to all pro-sajc people,
but it was really terrible for me.
in the mere span of two days i went there..
haha of course xiuu made it better by being there with me.
and the student centre was really nice!
plus the eyecandy.
but that was all.
i really missed cjc and felt it was so weird and strange..
in the two days i went to sajc,
i went back to cjc halfway through the day.
and finally i decided to transfer back to cjc.
yea of course it created a big hoo-ha with my parents and sister.
mind you at the same time, i got rejected from my appeal to tjc.
which is very good because i would have died in tjc!
on the first day i went back to cjc from sajc (without even bothering to register formally)
i went to talk to brother paul and he did welcome me back!
but i had to get my form chopped and i didnt bring it.
so it wasnt official as of yet.
called my parents..
they told me to stay in sajc.
said i wanted to go to cjc because i felt comfortable there.
and i will never excel in my comfort zone.
but i spent 10years in stnicks and was still able to come out with 12 points
and considering stnicks to be a super comfortable zone,
wasnt that a bit of a contradiction?
i suppose it was all that stigma and stuff.
but in the end my parents still said i could go ahead.
and of course i had to be responsible for my own decision.
and here i am, in cjc.
and i have absoutely no regrets at all.
because cjc arts is top 5
and sajc arts is ermm.. not exactly top 5?
even my friend in sajc first three months said sajc does not have a condusive studying environment.
and cjc has good people up there to lead the school now
thank God for bro paul!
plus my beloved home tutor, mr fahy.
he really cares about our academic performances.
so there.
its all up to me now.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 6.3.04
chondromalacia patella
now that is what exactly happened to my knee.
it simply means
the degeneration of the cartilage on the posterior aspect of the kneecap
kneecap, also known as patella. (i think)
anyway, the doctor advised me to organise my activities.
that means, no activities that require squating or bending of knees for too long.
which means, no squash, tennis, bowling, cycling.
err as if i do those sports anyway.
hahahha and he even gave me MC from pe till end of june!
whoa im so gonna grow super fat like that.
but i can still do pe!
only moderate pe lah.
hahaha so yea.
he said even climbing stairs as well
so i thank God my classroom isnt on the fifth floor anymore!
haii oh well.
it will heal, but takes time.
oh wait.
that means i dont ever have to do grandstands anymore!!!!
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
this rocks, for once.
pens
haha yupp i bought new pens and markers!
i love stationery.
i love popular.
i love buying new pens.
i love using new pens.
chinese AO level
i got C5
and this gloriously marks the end of my journey with chinese!
whoohoo!
no more chinese!
no more chinese lessons!
no more mr i-get-paid-so-much-money-to-sleep-in-class KSH!
but then again,
yea it is a little disappointing lah.
i expected a B or something.
but im not complaining
because i didnt study at all
so i deserve it.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 6.3.04
Thursday, March 04, 2004
to two special people in my life
one
yesterday was the first time i ever watch a movie with
joy
but it will probably be the last time in a long while
i mean, after she leaves cj, no doubt we wont get to meet as often
it will be so weird and empty!
from the time she started school in cj,
she became a big part of my life
a closest friend in school.
my morning buddy, my school-cousin, my bestest pal!
i dont say best friends because i dont believe in best friends.
but anyway, i saw her everyday in school
that it became like a norm.
i could tell her almost anything
and talk to her about all kinds of nonsensical stuff.
after all, she was so much like me!
its scary how i can actually find someone in the world who is so much like myself
haha dora even said once that it was as if she saw me mirrored in joy.
how scary, because i just got to know joy, like, last year only!
and oh yea, to those whom we told we were cousins, haha we are not.
haha sorry to kid you, but it was part of our fun.
hahahhha
yea joy and i arent even related and yet we find our personalities so alike
perhaps that was what made us
click so well
because we are of the same wavelength kinda thing..
almost everyone mistook us for sisters or cousins
people even called her
esther number two!
but oh well.
after the school posting results are out,
she will be gone from cj
because she will most probably get into hc
and that will mark the end of her stay in cj
and the end of our fun in cj together.
now it really seems to me like as though she really is my sister or something.
it will be so sad when she leaves cj!
i wish she didnt have to leave cj
then at least i will still have one of my closest friends by my side.
bahh this sucks.
my closest friends always leave.
char, neo, lorr, nat, sandie.
haii sucks lah.
-
two
i get really upset when i see my friends so sad and uptight,
and yet i cant do anything about it.
but sometimes its because i find out about it before they tell me.
and if i go up to them and comfort them, they will definitely wonder how on earth i found out.
hmm anyway..
nim, i just read your blog
and whatever it is, i really hope you wont keep it within and bottle everything up inside
i know it hurts to face reality
and by talking it out, it is facing up to it
but sometimes it is good to talk it out
im not forcing you to tell us everything that happens in your life,
like what you ate that day for dinner
or what time you visited the toilet
and how much scatology you expelled
haha what i meant was like,
stuff that bother you.
i really admire your strength and courage
youre like a tall pillar of strength, a fortress.
and you take everything so well!
you still come to school all chirpy and loveable.
but i feel so inadequate not doing anything to make your day.
ive always wanted to make a difference in others peoples lives!
but of course, if youre not willing to share it with us,
lest you feel really uncomfortable with it and stuff..
please dont force yourself to do anything you know you will reget.
but i just wanted to say that other than your blog, there are people who care about you.
there are people around you who actually do bother about what is going on in your life.
there are people who will not judge you.
and there are people who want to share your sorrow and make you happy!
so take heart that God gave us friends.
haha take care nim
and remember that i will always love you for who you are!
because God has blessed me with a friend such as you.
and i will be forever grateful.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 4.3.04
its over
yupp finally its over.
life rocks, for the time being.
stuck at home all alone now.
i want to bake!
but i have to walk out to parkway parade by myself to buy the ingredients
and my knee is in its worst condition ever, deteriorating, deteriorating..
well my mum could have fetched me there
but she left so early to go meet my dad for lunch!
so now i have to contemplate again.
should i go or should i not?
i think i will.
but i wont be in the best of moods.
haii.
-
oooh!
went out with nim bev dora and joy yesterday!
we had to go out for some relieving..
joy skipped her trainings to come with us.
haha we watched
somethings gotta give!
its so so so so so nice!!
at first we were a little apprehensive about the movie
because we initially wanted to watch
in america
joy and i promised to watch it together
but then lido changed the timings and made it earlier!
like what the..
so in the end we settled with somethings gotta give
and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves!
it was so funny and touching and sentimental
awww im a sucker for such movies.
hahah it was good.
after that we went shopping.
tried on hats and sunglasses and took photos!
hahah quite dumb.
then we went to the shoes section and played guess-the-price game.
haha a pair of shoes for a whopping six hundred dollars!
i wouldnt even dare to wear them out.
like hello, they are going on my feet, which will be going onto the ground.
so what for spend six hundred dollars to play with dirt?
haii no wonder they are still on the shelves.
then we went to the perfume section
whoa, i tell you.
i found a cologne which i would very much like my boyfriend to wear!!
.. if i do have one next time.
haha its so manly and masculine and worth swooning over!
hmm then we went to zara to try on clothes after that
haha it was so funny.
joy had this theory of trying on clothes you know you will never wear.
i found three skirts which were so nice
but they were ultimately short for someone with long legs
and the price far too expensive for someone too poor
what a pity.
went to topshop after that
saw these nice pants but the smaller size was too small and the larger size was too large.
haii and i dont suppose they have any sizes in between..
bahh.
but they were bell bottoms so it kinda turned me off a little.
after that we wanted to walk to taka to buy food
but my parents called to pick me up already
met my parents sister and brother at scotts picnic
i finally ate pasta mania in a long time
my meals have been so chapalat these few days, that the pasta tasted extra good
alright i think i better get going.
have to walk to parkway parade now
need to service my phone too.
yeppers peppers.
Godrocksmysocks (: - 4.3.04
